Resilient Leadership – what I wish I knew earlier
What I Wish I Knew Earlier About Resilient Leadership
If I could go back and give my younger self one piece of leadership advice, it would be this: resilience isn’t about being tough—it’s about being steady, self-aware, and human.
For a long time, I thought being a good leader meant pushing through, holding it all together, and never letting anything rattle me. I wore busyness like a badge of honour, thought rest was for the weak, and believed I needed to have all the answers, all the time. But over time (and through plenty of trial and error), I’ve learned that resilient leadership is something quite different.
It’s not about pretending things are fine when they’re not. It’s about staying grounded and clear-headed when pressure is high. It’s about knowing yourself well enough to manage your emotions, make thoughtful decisions, and create a sense of safety and steadiness for the people around you.
These are lessons I learned the hard way. But they’ve made all the difference in how I show up for others—and for myself.
Emotional steadiness matters
One of the biggest turning points in my leadership journey was realising that emotional control doesn’t mean bottling things up. It means learning how to respond rather than react.
When pressure is high, people look to their leaders to see how worried they should be. If you’re running around frantic, stressed, or on edge, that energy spreads. But if you’re steady, open, and grounded, others will follow your lead.
Being emotionally steady doesn’t mean being emotionless. It means allowing space for emotions—yours and others’—without being overwhelmed by them. That kind of presence builds trust.
Adaptability is a superpower
Change is constant. Priorities shift, markets evolve, people leave, and new challenges pop up out of nowhere. I used to resist change, often trying to stick with what was familiar or expected. But true resilience lies in adaptability—the willingness to pivot, to learn, and to stay curious in the face of the unknown.
Resilient leaders don’t cling to how things should be. They accept what is, and help others do the same. That doesn’t mean giving up or giving in—it means shifting gears when needed, staying flexible in your thinking, and adjusting the plan without losing sight of the goal.
Optimism doesn’t mean sugar-coating
One mistake I made early on was thinking I had to always appear positive, no matter what. But I’ve since learned that people don’t need constant positivity—they need honesty, balanced with hope.
Resilient leaders acknowledge when things are hard. They don’t pretend everything is okay if it isn’t. But they also hold onto the belief that the team can get through it together. That grounded optimism is far more inspiring than false cheerfulness. It helps people feel seen, while also helping them move forward.
Values create stability
When everything around you is uncertain, knowing your values gives you a strong foundation to stand on. Over the years, I’ve learned that decisions are easier when they’re guided by what truly matters.
For me, those values include compassion, curiosity, and calm. When I lead from those places, I’m more confident in my decisions, and more consistent in my actions. That consistency creates a sense of safety for others, too. People know what to expect, and that helps them feel more secure in uncertain times.
You’re not just managing tasks—you’re modelling resilience
Leadership isn’t just about setting goals and tracking performance. It’s about the way you carry yourself. The way you respond to setbacks. The way you speak to people when things don’t go to plan.
Resilient leaders create a ripple effect. When you stay composed, curious, and compassionate under pressure, others learn to do the same. You make it okay for people to make mistakes, to ask for help, and to bounce back from failure. That culture of psychological safety is one of the biggest predictors of high-performing teams.
I wish I’d known that earlier. I used to think I had to have all the answers. Now I know that modelling vulnerability and encouraging learning is far more powerful.
Rest isn’t a reward—it’s a requirement
This one took me the longest to learn.
I used to think I had to prove my worth by working harder, longer, and faster. But that mindset only leads to burnout—and sets a harmful example for the people around you.
Resilience isn’t about never getting tired or stressed. It’s about noticing when you are, and knowing how to replenish your energy. That means taking breaks, setting boundaries, getting enough sleep, and protecting your time for the things that matter.
When leaders role model this kind of self-care, it gives others permission to do the same. And that’s how you create a culture where people can sustain their performance without sacrificing their wellbeing.
So, what does this look like in practice?
It might mean taking a breath before you respond to a challenging email.
It might mean saying, “I’m not sure, but I’ll find out,” instead of pretending to know everything.
It might mean ending a meeting early so people can take a proper lunch break. Or asking your team how they’re really doing when a big project wraps up.
It might look like sharing your own struggles with managing pressure, so others feel safe to do the same.
Small actions, consistently repeated, can make a big difference.
Final thoughts
If you’re in a leadership role right now, know this: you don’t have to be bulletproof. You don’t have to hold it all together alone. You just have to be real, reflective, and resilient in the ways that matter most.
And if you’re feeling tired, overwhelmed, or unsure—that doesn’t make you a bad leader. It makes you human.
The good news is that resilience isn’t something you either have or don’t have. It’s something you can build, one decision, one conversation, one boundary at a time.
I wish I’d learnt that earlier. But I’m grateful I know it now.
Because when leaders build their own resilience, they help create workplaces where everyone can thrive—even under pressure.
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