“They’re Not Lazy — They’re Just Human”

It’s possible How the Fundamental Attribution Error Fuels Conflict at Work (and What We Can Do About It)

Let me start by holding my hands up — I’ve done it too.

I’ve looked at someone’s behaviour at work and assumed the worst. Someone didn’t return my email? They’re being difficult. Someone showed up late to a meeting? They don’t respect my time. Someone was short with me in a message? They’re just rude.

What I didn’t do — at least not right away — was stop to consider what might be going on in their world. Maybe they were overwhelmed. Perhaps they were unwell. It’s possible they were just having a really hard day.

That knee-jerk assumption we all make from time to time? It’s called the fundamental attribution error — and it’s more common (and more damaging) than we might think.

What Is the Fundamental Attribution Error?

In simple terms, the fundamental attribution error is a psychological bias where we overestimate someone’s character and underestimate their circumstances when we try to explain their behaviour.

When we do something wrong, we explain it by circumstance.

“I was late because of traffic.”

“I snapped because I didn’t sleep well.”

But when someone else does the exact same thing?

“They’re careless.”

“They’re just difficult.”

It’s an automatic, unconscious habit — and it affects how we communicate, collaborate, and resolve conflict in the workplace.

Why This Bias Is a Big Deal at Work

We all like to believe we’re fair, rational people. But the truth is, we’re all walking around with mental shortcuts, biases, and assumptions — and when stress is high, time is short, or pressure is on, those shortcuts get even more pronounced.

In a busy workplace, we rarely stop to ask why someone behaved a certain way. We just make a snap judgment. And unfortunately, these judgments have ripple effects:

Conflict escalates because we assume bad intent instead of context.

Relationships break down because people feel misunderstood or unfairly criticised.

Teamwork suffers because trust gets replaced by tension and defensiveness.

I’ve seen this play out in workshops I’ve delivered. Team members are often surprised — and sometimes deeply moved — when they finally hear what’s been going on behind the scenes for a colleague. Assumptions fall away. Empathy kicks in. And suddenly, communication shifts from blame to understanding.

 

What It Looks Like in Real Life

Here’s a few common workplace examples:

🧠 Example 1: The Quiet One in Meetings
You notice a team member rarely speaks up. The story you tell yourself?
“They don’t care” or “They’re not engaged.”
But dig a little deeper, and you might find they’re processing internally, anxious about speaking up, or unsure whether their input is valued.

🧠 Example 2: The Missed Deadline
A colleague drops the ball. You might think:
“They’re unreliable” or “They’re not committed.”
The reality? They might be juggling competing priorities, unclear expectations, or personal issues at home that you had no idea about.

🧠 Example 3: The Abrupt Email
You get a message that feels cold or clipped. Your brain might go:
“Wow, that was rude.”
But perhaps they were under pressure, trying to respond quickly, or simply writing in a style that doesn’t match yours.

We fill in the blanks with our own interpretations. And too often, we fill those blanks with judgment rather than curiosity.

How It Fuels Conflict

When we assume negative intent, we tend to react with defensiveness, avoidance, or even passive aggression. That sets off a chain reaction.

Here’s how it typically unfolds:

• You interpret someone’s behaviour as a personal flaw.
• You respond based on that assumption (with frustration, criticism, or silence).
• They feel misunderstood or judged, and respond in kind.
• Now you have two people reacting to stories in their heads — not the real situation.

This is how small moments turn into long-term tension. Teams begin to polarise. People withdraw. Collaboration drops. And all of it started with a simple misattribution.

 

So, What Can We Do About It?
The good news is: this bias is automatic, but not unchangeable. With awareness and intention, we can shift our thinking and create a more peaceful, positive, and productive workplace.

Here are eight practical strategies to try:

1. Pause Before You Judge
When someone’s behaviour irritates or confuses you, take a breath and ask: “What else might be going on here?”

This one question has the power to defuse so much unnecessary conflict. It opens up space for possibility instead of assumption.

2. Ask Rather Than Assume
Instead of writing your own narrative about someone’s actions, ask a respectful question: “Hey, I noticed you seemed a bit off today. Is everything okay?”

It shows care. It invites honesty. And it builds trust.

3. Lead With Curiosity
Get into the habit of wondering before concluding. Try: “I wonder what pressures they might be facing…” “I wonder if I’ve misunderstood their tone…” “I wonder if they needed something from me and didn’t know how to ask…”

This mindset helps you stay open and grounded, even in tricky situations.

4. Don’t Expect Yourself to Get It Right Every Time
Even with awareness, you’ll still fall into the trap now and then. That’s okay. The goal isn’t to be perfect — it’s to catch yourself more quickly and repair when needed.

5. Name the Bias With Your Team
Talk openly about the fundamental attribution error in team meetings or workshops. Give examples. Normalise it.

When people have shared language for this bias, they’re more likely to catch themselves — and call each other in gently when needed.

6. Use Empathetic Language in Feedback
If you’re giving someone feedback about their behaviour, be mindful of your framing. Compare these two approaches:

❌ “You don’t seem committed.”
✅ “I noticed you’ve been less responsive lately, and I’m wondering if something’s getting in the way?”

One shuts down. The other opens up.

7. Encourage Perspective-Taking
In conflict situations, ask reflective questions like: “What might have been going on for them?” “Have you had a chance to ask them directly?” “How would you want someone to interpret your behaviour in the same situation?”

These questions help people zoom out and humanise each other again.

8. Model It Yourself
If you’re in a leadership role, your mindset sets the tone.

When you show grace, curiosity, and a willingness to check your assumptions, others are more likely to follow suit. You create a culture where people are seen as whole humans — not just task-doers.

 

A Final Thought

Most of the time, people are doing the best they can with what they’ve got.

Yes, people make mistakes. Yes, miscommunications happen. But when we remember that behaviour is just the tip of the iceberg — and that underneath it is a whole world of stressors, values, history, and humanity — we relate differently.

So the next time a colleague frustrates you or a team member acts in a way that feels off, try this:

Assume the best, not the worst.

It might just be the simplest way to reduce conflict, deepen trust, and build the kind of workplace culture where people can thrive — not because they’re perfect, but because they’re understood.

 

Do you want to explore how unconscious biases show up in your workplace and learn practical tools to build better communication and collaboration? I run interactive workshops for teams and leaders across New Zealand — and I’d love to help. Click here to get in touch.

Let’s create a workplace where we assume the best in each other — and grow from there.