How to be more assertive at work for greater success
Do you want to be more assertive at work and be even more successful in your job?
In today’s fast-paced business environment, effective communication is the cornerstone of success.
Yet, many leaders and employees alike fall into the trap of avoiding difficult conversations, ignoring aggressive
behaviour, or choosing not to speak up when it matters most. While these actions might provide temporary relief, the long-term consequences can be detrimental to both individual and organisational growth.
Developing assertive communication skills is critical, not just for business leaders, but for their teams as well.
Read on to discover five proven ways to become more assertive, and the myriad benefits that come from fostering a culture of clear, confident communication.
The Temptation of Avoidance
It’s all too easy to take the path of least resistance when faced with uncomfortable situations. You might avoid tough conversations, ignore aggressive behaviour, or choose silence over sharing your thoughts or ideas. Perhaps you shy away from giving constructive feedback on poor performance, or find it difficult to admit mistakes. Saying ‘yes’ when you really want to say ‘no,’ or failing to call out unfair treatment or discrimination are also common ways people avoid conflict.
This avoidance might seem like a solution in the moment, but it often comes at a significant cost. Unresolved issues fester, leading to an erosion of trust and a buildup of frustration and discontent. Productivity can decrease, burnout rates may rise, and the organisation risks losing talented individuals who feel unheard or undervalued. Moreover, when ideas are suppressed and feedback is withheld, opportunities for learning and innovation are missed.
The Long-Term Costs of Avoidance
Avoiding difficult situations can lead to a cascade of negative outcomes, including:
- Unresolved Issues: Problems don’t disappear when ignored; they often grow larger, becoming more difficult to address later on.
- Erosion of Trust: When leaders and employees fail to communicate openly and honestly, trust within the team can erode.
- Frustration and Discontent: Without an outlet for expressing concerns or ideas, frustration builds, leading to a toxic work environment.
- Decreased Productivity: Unresolved tensions can distract employees from their work, reducing overall productivity.
- Burnout: Continually suppressing your own needs and feelings can lead to emotional exhaustion and burnout.
- Loss of Talent: Employees who feel unheard or undervalued may seek opportunities elsewhere, leading to a loss of valuable talent.
- Missed Learning Opportunities: Constructive feedback and open dialogue are crucial for personal and professional growth. Avoiding these conversations means missing out on important learning moments.
- Suppressed Ideas and Diminished Innovation: A culture of avoidance stifles creativity and innovation, as employees may feel discouraged from sharing new ideas.
The Importance of Assertive Communication
Assertive communication is the antidote to these challenges. It involves expressing your thoughts, feelings, and needs clearly and confidently, while also respecting the rights and perspectives of others.
Unlike passive communication, which often involves avoiding confrontation, or aggressive communication, which can lead to conflict, assertiveness strikes a healthy balance. It enables individuals to stand up for themselves without stepping on others, fostering a work environment where everyone feels heard and respected.
Learning to communicate assertively is a skill that can be developed with practice, courage, and commitment. It might feel uncomfortable at first, especially if you’re used to avoiding confrontation. However, the benefits of mastering this skill far outweigh the initial discomfort. Assertive communication can open new doors, help you set healthy boundaries, and ultimately lead to a more peaceful, positive, and productive workplace.
Five Proven Ways to Be More Assertive at Work
1. Practise Saying “No”:
One of the most challenging aspects of assertive communication is learning to say “no” when necessary. Many people struggle with this, fearing they will disappoint others or damage relationships. However, saying “yes” to everything can lead to overcommitment, stress, and burnout. Practise setting boundaries by politely but firmly declining requests that don’t align with your priorities or capacity. Remember, it’s better to say “no” upfront than to say “yes” and later regret it.
2. Use “I” Statements:
When communicating your needs or concerns, use “I” statements to express how you feel without blaming or accusing others. For example, instead of saying, “You never listen to me,” try, “I feel unheard when my ideas aren’t considered.” This approach helps to convey your message more clearly and reduces the likelihood of the other person becoming defensive.
3. Maintain Open Body Language:
Assertiveness is not just about the words you use; it’s also about how you present yourself. Open body language—such as maintaining eye contact, standing or sitting up straight, and avoiding crossed arms—can reinforce your message and convey confidence. Practise being aware of your body language during conversations, and make adjustments to ensure you appear approachable and assertive.
4. Prepare for Difficult Conversations:
If you’re anticipating a challenging conversation, take time to prepare in advance. Consider what you want to achieve from the discussion, and think about how to present your points clearly and constructively. Anticipating possible responses and preparing how to address them can help you stay calm and focused during the conversation. Preparation reduces anxiety and increases your confidence, making it easier to communicate assertively.
5. Seek Feedback and Reflect:
Developing assertive communication skills is an ongoing process. Seek feedback from trusted colleagues or mentors about how you come across in conversations. Are you being too passive, too aggressive, or striking the right balance? Reflect on their input and your own experiences, and use this information to continually improve your communication style. Remember, assertiveness is a skill that requires practice, so be patient with yourself as you develop it.
The Benefits of Assertive Communication
When leaders and employees alike embrace assertive communication, the entire organisation benefits. Some of the key advantages include:
Enhanced Relationships: Clear and respectful communication fosters stronger relationships between colleagues, leading to a more collaborative and supportive work environment.
Increased Trust: When people feel heard and respected, trust naturally builds, creating a foundation for effective teamwork and cooperation.
Improved Problem-Solving: Assertive communication encourages open dialogue, allowing teams to address issues head-on and find solutions more quickly.
Higher Productivity: When employees are not bogged down by unresolved conflicts or suppressed ideas, they can focus more fully on their work, leading to increased productivity.
Greater Job Satisfaction: Employees who feel empowered to express their needs and opinions are more likely to feel satisfied with their jobs and stay with the organisation longer.
Innovation and Creativity: A culture of assertiveness encourages the free exchange of ideas, leading to greater innovation and creativity within the team.
Reduced Stress and Burnout: By setting clear boundaries and addressing issues promptly, assertive communication helps to reduce stress and prevent burnout.
Assertive communication is a powerful tool that can transform the workplace. While it may take time and effort to develop this skill, the rewards are well worth it. By fostering a culture of assertiveness, business leaders can create an environment where employees feel empowered to express their needs, share their ideas, and contribute to the organisation’s success. In doing so, they pave the way for a more peaceful, positive, and productive workplace where everyone can thrive.
If YOUR team could benefit from upskilling in assertive communication skills, I can help.
